3 Ways To End Fear Within Our Education System

Did you know that a student commits suicide every hour in India? Not a statistic to be proud of, right!! In the year 2014, around 2403 students committed suicide with 'Failure in Examination' as the reason. And, this is just a fraction of the number of students who fall into depression, stress, and anxiety due to our fear-based education system.

As a full-time student myself for the past 16 years, I get frustrated a lot when I see such headlines of students committing suicides due to academic pressure and failure in exams in the newspaper regularly. So, I decided to write a post on this topic today to highlight the reasons behind this statistic and figure out some solutions to this problem.

I remember when I was a student studying in Class IX when one of my friends who had failed in most of the subjects told me that he felt he was a worthless loser and was wasting his parents' money and wished he could jump off the fourth floor of the school. Back then, we took the conversation lightly in the form of a joke but when I look back now I keep asking myself this, "How could a happy-go-lucky 14 year-old-kid get so serious about life that he wished he could've jumped off the fourth floor of our school? How could such a thought of ending his life even come up in his mind amongst the wildest of thoughts in the world just because of failing a few examinations?"

Another friend of mine, this time in Class XII, while discussing the topic of her aunt's death by cancer said to me something which still keeps bothering in my mind. She told me that wouldn't death be peaceful when you wouldn't have to worry about studying, tests and exams.

Though the above two examples of my friends represent only a small fraction of the total number of students, I personally know that the issue is a lot bigger. The number of students who get depressed, stressed out and anxious due to failure in an exam and scoring poor grades is a lot more.

How Fear Becomes A Part Of School

Let's try to figure out some reasons for fear becoming a part of the education system:

1. Comparing Parents:

• Probably the main purpose of parents teachers meeting is to glorify the toppers and demotivate the low scorers. I used to be the top scorer myself and remember my friends' parents asking me how I studied so that their son could score good grades too. To be honest, I believe that this mentality is sickening when a parent wants his/her child to be like someone else rather than appreciating their individuality.
• "Look at him and look at yourself, how miserable you are.". If you're an Indian then this is probably something you've heard on a regular basis. Parents especially Indian parents love comparing their kids. Right from comparing the time their kid learned walking and uttered the first word to the time they got a job when they can compare their salaries.
• The academically good students are considered as role models while those with poor grades are motivated to be like them. So naturally, parents pressurize their kids to be like their role models. 98%, 95%, 90% these grades don't matter to parents. Their only concern if their neighbor's, relative's daughter scored better grades or not. 
• I know I should not be saying this, but in India, most parents see their child more as an investment than a loved one. Their love is conditional. When you score good grades they appreciate you. When you score poor grades you face humiliation and depreciation. A child poor in academics is considered as a bad investment, a wastage of their hard earned money, and often less loved by his/her parents. On the other hand, a child good in academics is a considered a good investment with a great return. Such a child would surely make them proud and earn them great respect in the society. This pressure to fulfill their parents' desires and meet their expectations, leads to stress, anxiety, and fear in the child's mind when he is unable to fulfill them. 

2. Intense Competition:

• I love talking to my parents about their school and college days. They tell me how the competition was so less during those days and how the person who passed the exam with 1st class grades (above 60%) was considered one of the high scorers. But in 2017, that definition has completely changed. When a child scores 98% today, his/her parents are more concerned about where the 2% were lost.    
• Competition is soaring and the growing number of tuition classes add a proof to that. The more the competition, the better it is for the business of coaching institutes and tuition classes.
• This rat race to finish at the top and move ahead of others, often leads to a sense of fear and anxiety among students especially those who emerge as losers in this competitive environment.  

3. Standards Set By The Society:

• 'Failing an exam means being a failure in life' is what the society makes a student believe. Failures are made fun of, laughed at, considered as a lower rank of a human being and made examples of as a failed human being. 
• Finish first or the world will move ahead of you, score good grades or else you won't get into a good college. If you don't get into a good college, you won't get a high paying job and if that does not happen then you would be leading a sad and miserable. Then, you'd be a failure in life too. This fear of failure is put into the minds of kids right from a very young age.
• Children are brought up with the idea to construct their life thinking about how to earn a living which is really terrible if the goal of our education system is to raise creative, conscious and smart citizens of the future.

Solutions

1. Parents, Stop Comparing Your Kids:

• Parents need to realize that each and every child is unique. It is not possible for a child to be like someone else. If that would be the case then there would be two Sharmaji's sons and not one. 
• Stop pressurizing kids to score higher grades even when they don't have the capability to. Let them pursue their own passions and interests and persuade them to give 100% from their side in each test or exam. I'm pretty sure that kids would be much more successful, happy, open-minded and much less stressed and depressed. Love should be unconditional and alike for each kid.

2. Running A Different Race:

• Rather than competing in something you have no interest in, why not run in a race where you are the sole participant where there is no winner or loser. Why not pursue something that you love to do and are passionate about. Try to stand out from the crowd and instead of competing with others try to improve yourself.
• Rather than comparing yourself and your grades with others, why not focus on bettering yourself.

3. Screw Societal Standards:

• People will always have a reason to talk behind your back. Stop caring about them and give up this struggle to impress them and meeting their standards. Do what you love and feel like doing without caring about other's opinions.
• Stop living with this constant fear of failing because a great man once said:

" If you've never failed, you've never tried anything new."

That's it with the post. You can follow me and this blog on Google+ where I post funny and inspirational stuff. Here's an example: 

Your views and suggestions are welcomed in the comments below. Keep reading and keep smiling:)

Inspired by:
Ending Fear-Based Education | Sadhguru